Our Present Model of Life
A German philosopher by the name of Kant, beautifully clarified how we all go through life with our own coloured glasses. Those with green glasses are convinced that the world is green, others with red glasses are equally convinced that the world is red. Neither are aware that they are wearing glasses. For Kant, the glasses represent our psychological models. As an example, in some areas within Tibet and in many communities in the world, death is not seen as bad at all. There is an unusual acceptance of death and no one experiences sorrow with the notion of death. Come to any of the western cities and for the majority 'death' equals something terribly bad. Who is right and who is wrong? It just goes to show that we have different glasses. In the same way the definition of what is beautiful changes when you cross a border. In the west coast of America, being slim is beautiful; you fly a few hours and in Hawaii, being fat is beautiful. Our whole notion of right, wrong, good, bad, beautiful, ugly, etc. is decided by our glasses. The paradox is that we don't even know that we ourselves have glasses and that we have not even chosen our glasses. Parents and the people around us influence the kind of glasses we have. If we were to be born in a very different culture, our ideas of what is right, wrong, good, bad, etc. would be entirely different. We might not even be aware that we can change our glasses. Whichever glasses we use, they certainly have a huge effect on our lives.
So what are our glasses at present? What is our model towards this life? For most its certainly based on a compulsive possessive instinct. When we are with this model, we use the word 'my'. As we saw earlier, once we embrace the model based on attachments, we get damned into a life of constant subconscious insecurities. That victim consciousness remains an essential factor influencing the quality of our lives, when we are with these glasses.
In this situation everything one does is motivated by trying to make oneself secure. That remains the priority. A simple attachment becomes a basis of a rather complicated life. To demonstrate this, lets take an example of John and a lamp. John is visiting a place and let us say, he has come to believe that he owns one particular lamp at that place. He is using the word 'my' to the lamp. As discussed earlier, with that word 'my', comes insecurity. To make himself secure, he clings to that lamp and builds fences around it. Further still, he comes with a great idea that he can own two lamps, just in case he loses the first one!
So now he has two lamps. The problem is compounded, not solved as he can now lose two. His clever answer is to own more. The more he owns, subconsciously he knows that he will lose more! Now John is permanently trapped in that insecurity spiral. In time, his whole notion of life and security will be revolving around the lamp. Finally the whole thing becomes so complicated that he doesn't even recollect where it all started from and why he is doing what he is doing. This is our story.
Crossing a Line
The whole behaviour is absurd, but the reason we get caught up in this web, is because we lose clarity. We start by liking the lamp, then wanting it and then owning it. To move from liking to wanting is when we cross a line from clarity into confusion. To cross that line into confusion is a very significant step in the journey of man, as that sets off a cascade of reactions into further complications.
The belief of my to anything in that temporary box is a sign of confusion. It takes us further into the downward spiral of my and more. We can create many spirals and opt for a life of ever increasing insecurities and endless needs. If a person is at the lower end of the spiral, as we saw earlier, there is greater misery. If he is not as far down the spiral, then there is less misery. We all have the option to be in the physical world, yet not be in a spiral. This is what we call the state of a detached observer or not crossing the line.
One of the criteria of Spiritual Intelligence is being able to step back thereby not getting trapped in the situation. One who is a detached observer is able to step back have the option of detached involvement.
Attitude of a Guest
A guest always has a rather interesting attitude towards his environment. He is very much involved with everything yet remains aware that he doesn't own anything. He doesn't cross the line. He is free to enjoy the place, experiences everything, yet remain free from any expectations or attachments. As a result, a guest always experiences lightness and freedom. Because of the freedom from my, he doesn't take anything personally; he doesn't take offence. He naturally remains a detached observer. He may be fully aware of everything that is being said and done and yet remains out of any emotional involvement. He remains in control of himself and doesn't get drawn into pettiness.
Since our immediate aim is to be free from the attachments and the downward spiral, experimenting with the attitude of a guest is a good start. For centuries, poets, prophets and philosophers alike have been reminding us that we are a guests in this physical world. We all may agree with the notion of we beings guests. However, it is possible for us to take it a step further to reap real benefits. Even for a short time, we can experience being guests. To literally experience what it means to be a guest on this planet, is meditation. A guest owns nothing and so he loses nothing. A guest owns no one and so he loses no one. He has an entrance and an exit. He is just temporarily associated with everything on the planet, including the body. What he is, he remains always. By just being aware of the larger journey, a guest experiences a higher sense of security, regardless of the changing circumstances around him. That experience of security is important for us.
This sense of security is a central need of every living creature. As a result, having a sense of security brings out the best in anyone and a sense of insecurity brings out the worst. Feeling secure is like a key to unlock some deep emotional treasures from within us. A secure person experiences peace, contentment, happiness and lightness. Only a secure person can truly love. If someone makes you insecure, the experience of love will becomes less.
Just as a whole range of positive feelings have their roots in a sense of security, the entire range of negative emotions have their roots in a sense of insecurity. Insecurity leads to desperations and desires. There is a desire just to be secure. Desires combined with uncertainty creates stress. When a desire is not fulfilled, it leads to sadness. If a desire is not met another person can be blamed and the emotion can take the form of anger. When a person sees someone else with the object of their desire, it will lead to envy. Every negative state of mind has its origins in insecurity, which in turn has its roots in attachment.
One who is on the spiral of attachments has a much greater chance of being negative, whereas one who is in the guest model is less likely to be insecure, hence less likely to respond negatively to any life situation.
The cause of all sorrows of this world are only because of the box. All desires and desperations are in connection with the box. All vices are in connection with the box. We may not have a lot of control over every detail within the box, but we have total control over our attitude towards the box. If we choose an attitude of attachments, then we are vulnerable to all the sorrows and vices. If we opt for an attitude of a detached observer then we are able to experience a mind where there is zero sorrow, zero desperations and zero vices. This is a mind where there is nothing inauspicious.
Our mind can be compared to a glass of milk. If we were to add just one drop of poison to that glass, then all the milk gets polluted. If there is no trace of poison, we get milk. Something similar happens with our mind. If we allow one drop of fear or anger, that drop pollutes the whole mind. If that drop is removed then we are able to experience that auspicious mind.
That mind knows the bliss of the soul. A person who experiments with this model knows of a mind where there is that supreme peace and no disturbance. He knows of a mind where there are no desperations, no compulsive thoughts about the details of the box and no reasons for worry. He experiences the freedom of a guest, the peace of a guest, the security of a guest and the wisdom of a guest, because a guest is always aware of the bigger journey. That mind is rich in heart and rich in head. Inner peace and emotional stability helps him to concentrate better, which in turn helps his learning; he can grasp abstract ideas better. He has a sense of the subtle and can grapple with eternity. To experience that mind and the joy of the ‘atma’ is the highest luxury anyone can strive for.
Imagine someone who is quick at taking offence and quick at giving offence and as a result, everyone around would like to run away from them. Others can run away from them, but they cannot run away from themselves! They have got that mind for twenty four hours a day.
On the contrary, we all like to be with some people specifically; we consider our time spent with them as being the most precious. It is like that with a noble personality. They themselves must be experiencing something nobler, for others to value their company. Others may get their company for a few minutes or hours, but that person has the company of a noble mind for twenty four hours a day. They are the ones who are benefited the most.
As we see the contrast of these two models, we also understand that we have the option. It is our choice which model we use at any one moment. When we are using the words guest model, we are implying that this is the model of seeing clearly. We may not be able to hold on to this clarity all of the time, as old habits will pull us down the spiral, but we can create a minute of seeing with different glasses; a minute of being a guest. Every minute we are experimenting with this accurately we go up the spiral and, as we go up the spiral, we continue to come out of that confusion, and grow in the direction of clarity.
In this is the beginning to the most beautiful process for all of us; starting with clarity. It is in this that there are answers to the world’s riddles.
Meditation